I find it easier said than done to ask husband permissions when that husband does not have outstanding qualifications regarding sibject I'm asking about. He is not pure devotee (me either), he does not have much knowledge how home be cared for, or what to do with the children. If I need something done, asking permission to do what I all ready know how to do, from someone who knows less about it than myself, makes me feel like his pet dog. Its besmirching.
I do not think Srila Prabhupada meant to ask husbands every nit picky little thing, regardless this be desire of present day misogynists. That is a problem of their own. Srila Prabhupada gave women many decisions to make, and responsibilities to execute.
It subsequently becomes possible the asking of permission calms the high level of testosterone (most likely higher in misogynists than normal men).
We are human, everyone gets angry once in a while. A normal but angry man can be appeased, sometimes, if asked permission. When they are of good heart, it might work.
When they be chronic angry misogynist, it may fan their fire, giving them excuse to ramble on with more of their addictive fault-findings of woman and society. Thus we talk only of what Prabhupada meant, not what kali yuga broken men (misogynists) be desirous of.
Prabhupada has mention to ask husband permission at times, not all the time. Perhaps it is to keep them in them loop. No one wants to feel left out, no one wants to feel disempowered, which they may feel under a range of circumstances. To “ask” would make sense to this kali yuga women, under such circumstances.
Often its merely going through the motions, not to be taken as seriously as some women might take it. Once I was one of those women. Until learning the different needs of different genders (appropriately). Understand, women either need pretty jewelry or emotinal support -especially emotional support. Men need to feel in charge. No problem giving that 'when' its harmless, or when its going through the motions with sincerity and respect, or it can be to appease an otherwise usually sensible man. No objection with helpful techniques. I have an objection to chronic manipulation by woman, opposite gender falling for it, especially desiring it.
The reverse, also can be problematic, that when man figures this out he might become angry and abuses wife "no matter what she does." However, everyone manipulates or tries to appease the other a bit, you too reader.
It was startling first time reading this even in nondevotee psychology literature, but chose to observe, more consciously, discovering it be true. The healthiest of relationships often include normal sane amounts of these, out of love, performed with kindness, and not constantly required. Therefore it be all right to do such things a little and included sincerity - from the sincere. Its excess that's the difficulty. A little when appropriate can take the edge off maya; a lot can walk her in the front door.
Additionally choice ought to be included, with not limiting only a single method of marriage. Whatever makes any marriage function in Krishna consciousness is all which matters. Nobody outside of that marriage should judge.
At the start of this blog post, I wanted to write: "I do not ask my husband permission for anything, sorry." However to be honest, yes I do. Simply dislike the helpless, wimpy woman style: “I am so stupid, a less intelligent women. Look at me, how foolish I am. Look At Me! (attention getting) Now come do it FOR me because I'm so unintelligent a women I can't do it myself.” Not my style.
Whereas I'm liking the equal partner no-nonsense, matter-of-fact style, asking:
"Is this good for the family?"
"What do you think about doing that?"
"Do you want rice and dal for lunch, or something else?"
Thus I see, contemporary women like myself do not go against Veda as misogynist try to convince us we do, we simply ask permission in a normal, equally considerate way. A way that makes our personal marriages work. A way they would disapprove of, them always trying to have charge over everyone, but they're not to be have charge over everyone. Srila Prabhupada himself said marriage is private (quoted below).
GHQ and misogynists should stop sticking their noses into marriages of others, persisting if it is not following theirs, or not in accordance to their approved method or their (limited) understanding - it's maya. Humbug. It be none of their business. They're like gossipy old ladies as they checked up on other mens wife, men not in ghq. Then if they thought to find some secret or unusal thing, next try to cause her trouble (marital fight) by tattling (children they be) to husband.
Did they genuinely think husband so stupid he did not know?
Did they believe the few who didn't know would not find out?
Did they assume once he found out all husbands would always not like her activies simply because they do not?
Did they not stop to think the damage they caused to the children inside the unique dynamics these marraiges?
Did they notice most all of these marriges be functional and spiritual, despite their personal inability to understand how that be?
GHQ are not legitimate authority but self-appointed (a deviation from Prabhupada's method to obtain position of authority). They are lustful men with minds uncontrolled, looking to control everyone, even others marriages.
"If things can be worked out nicely within the temple, that's all right. But family life requires a certain amount of privacy and convenience, which may not always be available. I am simply concerned that you be happy and contented, so you can prosecute the most important thing, Krishna consciousness, without being disturbed. Rupanuga and Damodara are both doing nicely in this regard, and I wish the same for you." Srila Prabhupada letter to Satsvarupa, and Hamsadutta; Vrndavana India, Aug 1, 1967
